Life has been full lately. I have two weeks of training under my belt, and that deer-in-the-headlights look I was sporting the first couple days is no more. I'm finding my groove—slowly but surely—and feeling more confident. It's hard work and the days are long, but gosh am I learning a ton. I was in a holding pattern regarding one of my state licenses, which had me feeling a little anxious (I couldn't perform all of the job requirements without it), but it finally went through and I'm official. Phew.
Grad school is starting to feel real. Like I'll actually get there sooner rather than later (or at all). It feels closer and more attainable than it has...well, ever. This job has also reinforced my desire to go into medicine. Thank goodness.
The word that comes to mind a lot these days is gratitude. I'm grateful for this opportunity after searching so long for the right job. All those rejection letters and months of applying were worth it; this is absolutely where I'm meant to be. I'm grateful for this time alone to adjust, and also deeply grateful for a family that supports me unconditionally. They selflessly let me have these last few weeks to myself so I could funnel all my energy into this new position. (I miss their faces!)
There have been many bumps along the road. Times when I thought total fulfillment was a pipe dream; an ideal few achieve. I grew impatient and resentful and frustrated with how long this process has taken. Now I realize it was all a necessary part of the journey. I have to take the good with the bad and trust that things will always work out in the end. And sure enough, they always do. But, you know, when you're in the thick of it it's easy to go there: to that head space where you doubt. Doubt your abilities. Doubt your decisions. Doubt the path you chose. Doubt others. Doubt, doubt, doubt.
Thank goodness the universe likes to prove me wrong.
In the spirit of appreciation, here are a few things that deserve my acknowledgement. Because I cannot focus solely on the big, life-changing things. Especially on those days when life has me down or work is hard or I'm suffering from Mom Guilt. So I try to remind myself daily to be grateful for the little things. They matter.
I'm grateful for...
This little jewelry catcher. (May it prevent me from losing another wedding ring.)
Quick and easy homemade meals that double as lunch the next day.
Pizza and hard cider after a long day. Because sometimes you don't even have the energy for quick and easy.
This hand cream. It was an impulse buy at a local shop, but my cracked knuckles are thanking me profusely. (I easily wash my hands 100+ times a shift.)
This garden, which offers a reprieve from sterile hospital corridors. Fresh air, colorful foliage, and not a beep or alarm to be heard.
These shoes, which have been kind to my sore, tired feet.
Fresh cut flowers. Rose bushes are a chore, but the clippings sure do brighten my day.
This bag, which has dutifully carried my lunch to work every single day. (I haven't hit up the hospital cafeteria once.)
This fuzzy cactus. Kiddo and I fell deeply in love with one just like it a while back, but it wasn't for sale. Two weeks ago, while checking a local shop off my must-see list, I came across this beauty. It makes me really happy. (The shop owner said it was grown from seed at a nearby nursery and is 10-15 years old!)
Days off. Now that my time is less free, I have such an appreciation for the opportunity to sip coffee, catch up on my blogroll, and write.