Thursday, October 16, 2014

Thoughts on letting go (of the small stuff).


 Last night, as I was doing those last few things to close up shop before bed, I thought Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday. We all have those weeks when we wonder how Friday didn't come two days ago. As was the case for me.

Mario is in San Francisco this week, attending a conference for work. That lucky duck is getting inspiration from the likes of Tony Robbins and Will.i.am. Oh, and never mind the Bruno Mars concert. Sometimes I wonder if we live in the same universe.

In the meantime, I've been holding down the fort here on planet Earth. It's been a melancholy week weather-wise; I'm getting a feel for the typical Pacific Northwest climate. Not too cold and a little rainy (but seldom a downpour) with periods of sunshine. Last night I slipped on wool socks for the first time, but the heat remains off... for now.

About a week ago, Kiddo took a tumble during an after school activity and hit the back of his head. After becoming quite ill on Tuesday, we learned he likely has post-concussion syndrome. The symptoms should subside in the next week or so, but it meant a whole day devoted to finding out what was wrong while working to get him better. For those moms with school-age kiddos, you understand how having one home sick can throw off the whole week. Most importantly, though, he's okay.

Since taking a step back, and making the choice to stop sweating the small stuff, life has felt a lot calmer. The transition from perpetually fretful to zen hasn't been as easy as making a declaration to do so. It takes effort and involves frequent, but much shorter, relapses.

Have all the boxes been checked and the question marks converted to periods? Not even close. But I'm making the conscious decision to go with the flow. Though zen isn't synonymous with leaving things to chance. Far from it. But I spend a lot less time trying to force things, which usually backfired in the productivity department anyway.

Am I still going to finalize my post-collegiate resume? Absolutely! Am I going to apply for the jobs I want, even if scoring them may be a bit of a stretch? Yes! I fully intend to put myself out there. But I'm not going to ruminate and stress over the fact that I didn't get my resume finished this week. Or that I didn't apply for a single position.

Taking care of a sick kiddo is far more important; there's simply no contest. And I feel quite accomplished in my ability to be there for him when he needed me. In the fact that I single-parented a sick kiddo.

I can see the silver lining rather than the laundry list of things that didn't get done. (I think there's still carpet sunder all that dog fur.)

Baby steps.



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