I've been pretty darn introspective lately. It's been known to happen. And while that is certainly not a bad thing, I often wonder if it gets a little too, well, real around here sometimes.
I try to be as open and honest as one can be, yet I certainly can't share everything. My husband's life and Kiddo's privacy must be respected. Some stories are simply not mine to share. I work hard to make sure this is a space that reflects my imperfect life; to not be just another blog that gives the reader a keyhole glimpse of my life through a rose-colored filter.
For instance, yesterday I threw together a quickie post about a recent day trip we took to the Pendleton Wool Mill. Yet I couldn't help but expel some anguish about my wee one suddenly becoming all grown up, armpit hair and all. But, you know, there's always more to the story. The human condition cannot be summed up so neatly. There's always more, as I always assume when I read other blogs (even the pretty rose-colored ones).
I'm a ruminator, you see. Oh, boy am I (just ask my poor husband). It can be excellent in terms of self-discovery, but it can also be agonizing for an anxiety-prone person like myself. So despite my best efforts to mix things up around here, to keep things light-hearted for the most part, sometimes my head space isn't quite there. Which in turn leads to a rather inauthentic post. Because you can typically tell when writing is forced.
This space is a reflection of me. Imperfect, ruminating me. If I'm sorting through some gunk, this corner of the interweb will likely reflect that. It is what it is and so it goes.
The key word here is balance. In every aspect of my life, including this blog. As I've mentioned before, the part of The Happiness Project that really struck a chord with me was the part about acting how I want to feel. Fake it 'til you make it and you just might end up believing it.
So today... today I'm going to write about all the great things happening right now. The fun, exciting things. In snippet form, my favorite way to write. (Besides, I've written enough essays for one week.) Because honestly, aside from the occasional hiccup, life is good. Really good.
(Warning: photo dump ahead.)
// Do you ever look at your partner and have a moment of How did I score him/her? I definitely married up. I mean, Come. Oooon. That was one of those moments. Mario had been traveling all week and we met him and a coworker for dinner the night he got home. I laid eyes on him for the first time in days and he looked like this. Looking at the photo gets me twitterpated all over again. Kudos to me for buying him that shirt. (He is not just a total stud, he's also an all-around over-the-moon amazing dude. I'm not just saying that because I'm clearly biased. Ask anyone who knows him. Also, I apologize for the level of mushiness in this snippet. I'm even grossing myself out. But, I mean, Come. On.) //
// Post haircut, sun radiating from behind. Stop. It's all too much. //
// This kid is my little buddy. Mario has been crazy busy with work, or traveling, so Kiddo and I have been left to explore on our own. He even helps me out around the house. Just this morning he hung out with me at a coffee shop so I could get some writing done. The fact that he still likes hanging out with Mooom makes me really happy. //
// A friend of ours sent this cool Welcome Home basket. Surprises are the best. //
// This happened. It is currently sitting on our living room coffee table waiting to be hung. It frightens me every time I walk by, but I'm sure that will fade with time. I hope. //
// I've gotten carried away with the throw pillows. In fact, I have two upstairs that match nothing and have no where to go. But I love them and have zero regret. Once you go throw pillow you never go back. (I'm also digging the black and white color scheme in the living room.) //
// This oatmeal is killer... Jared and I are hopelessly addicted. The PB&J flavor is off the hook. We may have to pace ourselves, lest we spend a small fortune on oatmeal. //
// Our friends Troy and Kathi invited us over to her sister's house to pick blueberries. Not only did we fill two containers, they loaded us up with tomatoes, cucumbers and green beans from their garden. We get pretty excited about such things. //
// You know that go-to place to eat when this or that runs late or you need a quick meal on the cheap? We found ours in Burgerville. //
// We like to pretend we live in Ikea. Totally normal, right? Okay then. //
// Our house came with rose bushes along the front porch. I have nary an idea how to tend to them, but they have this innate ability to make me feel quite cheerful. //
// One of the many statues in downtown Portland. I've done a little research, but have yet to understand Portland's association with stags. //
// Aforementioned roses and my first edition of Kinfolk magazine. Though it's loveliness cannot be debated, I think I lack the sophistication to really get it. I want to, but something eludes me. I think I'd like to get it, and maybe one day I will, but the writing makes me sleepy and I sort of feel, well, beneath it all. You know what I mean? The recipes look good, and I like the photographs, so perhaps I'll give it one more shot? (Though it is 18 bucks an issue. Though my mention of the price perhaps shows my lack of sophistication? Does one who really gets it put a price on such things?) //
// Kiddo and I ventured into the city earlier this week and picked up some finishing touches for the house. And when downtown, can one pass up a visit to Powell's? Not really. Kiddo and I set up a time and place to meet, then went about exploring our own interests. (One of the great things about his age is the ability to do such things. Glass half full!) Mint iced tea, lovely things tucked away in Anthropologie and West Elm bags, and the magazine section. Bliss. (Wait! This picture indicates, somehow, that I should be able to read Kinfolk without feeling melancholy. What gives?) //
// Earlier this summer, my boyfriend-in-law (is that a thing?) showed me how to upload my iPhone photos straight to my laptop via iCloud. I finally sat down and figured it out yesterday. My foolish eyes have been opened! For the past two years I have been emailing the photos to myself (five at a time), uploading them to my computer, renaming them, and transferring them into folders, yada yada yada. It was a laborious and time consuming process. Now I select my photos, press a couple buttons and wallah! they are magically transported to a folder on my computer. Let it be known that Jonah is my hero and shall be from this day forth. //
// Sometimes Birchbox just gets me. //
// Kiddo is slooowly overcoming his fear of the auto belay at the local climbing wall. It seriously freaks him out and he gets stuck on the above ledge every time he attempts this section of the wall. Poor guy. Fortunately, his dad is an expert belayer so this only happens when Mom brings him. //
// I have amassed quite the collection of succulents. In fact, I've fallen madly in love with at least one plant each and every time I've been to Ikea. Then we stumbled upon these darling Marimo moss balls at Pistils Nursery while walking around North Mississippi Avenue in Portland. Have you ever heard of such a thing?! Kiddo and I were instantly smitten; Mario (somewhat understandably) rolled his eyes. (Check out this Marimo aquatic terrarium. Swoon.) //
Am I capable of writing a non-epic blog post? It seems not. So, for today, I'm signing off.
But first, I want to leave you with this:
I know I feel safer with him around. Don't you?