Those semi-regular I'm back! posts followed by prolonged silence is evidence that I'm a fraud. I've been, at best, a lackluster blogger. I wish I could say it was because my life behind the screen is so fulfilling and glorious that I don't need to get anything off my chest. That's simply not true. And while life certainly isn't bad, it's hectic. When I step back and look at my day, it seems like I should have a plethora of free time to write. I don't. Instead, I have one of those to-do lists that never ends. Tattered and ratty from floating around the bottom of my purse, I cross off one thing for every two added. (Dishware box? Check. Need: peanut butter and nail clippers. And so it goes.)
This is the season I'm in and a certain amount of acceptance is necessary on my part. I'm also learning to let things drop. If I only get one hour in a day to spend alone, it's okay to skip a workout and use that time to do something that re-energizes my mental being. Most the time I leave CrossFit having killed two birds with one stone: a clearer head and a stronger body. Yet sometimes clarity only comes from putting fingers to keyboard. From taping up a box full of belongings and feeling that much closer to our move. From sitting across a lunch table from my husband between his conference calls.
One chapter of our lives is reaching a close and we are turning to a blank page. But I don't want to gloss over the ending! If that means I don't add five pounds to my power snatch this week or conquer my strict pull up goal before we leave, well, that's certainly okay. Posting photos of sights still being discovered in the few short weeks before we leave means everything. I want to document our cross-country journey, because to me the journey is just as important as the destination. I want to acknowledge those sights and sounds that make my eyes stray from the road ahead by allowing myself to take a moment to document them. There is some sense of urgency when it comes to reaching the finish line, but why make it more stressful than it has to be? The same goes for this space. No more thinking about all those pictures hanging out on my computer. No more pushing away thoughts and ideas because I can't find an hour or two to jot them down and press the publish button. Perhaps it's time to finally start carrying a notebook so I don't lose the gems that strike me in the middle of the day and pass too quickly to be saved to my mental hard drive.
Last Thursday I had a little bit of time to myself. Instead of carpooling to lunch with some friends, I drove separately. Unfortunately, the lovely little town where I stopped to enjoy a cup of coffee is a wi-fi wasteland. Not to be deterred, and since a blank blog page was already up on my computer, I wrote a post about a comedy of errors that occurred in an attempt to regain some of my cool. It involved a seedy tattoo/piercing parlor, a homeless man, and a stack of pancakes. Trust me that it was entertaining. But when I got home and was internet connected, Blogger freaked out and made the whole thing disappear. Despite Mario's attempts to retrieve it from the depths of my computer's soul, it was gone forever. Perhaps I'll try to recreate it, but I can't imagine it will have the same pizazz. The point being that good, solid blogging time is good for the soul. Mine, anyway. And I love nothing more than getting in the zone and tap, tap, tapping away on my keyboard. So I'm going to stop demoting it on days when tiny ants are threatening to carry an entire pie off our kitchen counter and out the door; the dog eats Kiddo's lunch; the chicken I'm supposed to cook for dinner smells funky; my car is making a funny noise that I have to try and replicate for my husband and then the mechanic; and I pull my left Achilles trying to master double-unders. (Because I have a goal of doing 10 consecutive doubles by the end of the month despite everything else we have going on and said strained Achilles. Because I like to do that kind of shit to myself.)
I go through these blogging-real life disconnects somewhat regularly, and write about them, so posts like this feel very Yeah, what else is new?. My ability to make and adhere to my own rules for better living is something I'm working on and it's slow going (kind of like my to-do list). But today I'm saying Make it so! (in Patrick Stewart's British baritone, of course.)
As of late...
// A gathering of friends to officially say goodbye. We'll still see them here and there before we leave, but probably not all in one place, talking about this and that. We did a mini bar hop and visited some old and new favorites. // I'm going to miss my beloved pickle juice martini. I'm not a drinker, but I'll order this every time. // My CrossFit clan gathered to say goodbye to a favorite trainer. She coached me from the very beginning, back when I couldn't run 400m without stopping to catch my breath. When I couldn't do a single military push up. She was there when I felt my most vulnerable, and helped celebrate my every accomplishment, big or small. She pushed me when I wasn't sure I could do it. (I could and she knew it.) I'm not sure I will ever connect with a coach the way I did with her. We are leaving this area behind at roughly the same time, which seems like one of the many signs that we are doing the right thing by moving on. I will miss her terribly. Tears spring to my eyes as I write this; I can't imagine this part of my life without her in it. I vow to look her up any and every time we are in the Bay Area. //
// I chaperoned Kiddo's play day last week. The younger kids were spending the day getting to know their new classrooms so the 8th graders had a day to spend together. Guess who dominated eight 8th graders in the laser tag arena? I hope this moves me a step closer to being in the cool mom category. (Kiddo placed first in the second game... a family of champions are we.) // I finished my first 5K! It's true! Mario acted as my personal photographer and took some stellar pics. Post to come soon. // Mario and I discovered an awesome hardware store in Brattleboro, Vermont the other day. We took our chopping block to a nearby shop to be powder coated and stopped to hunt for a part for it. Sundries galore! For 50 cents apiece, you can buy any and every piping tip under the sun. There was also a glittery blue KitchenAid mixer that made me swoon. I sure hope there are places like that in Portland. You know, really good everything stores. // Ikea meatballs are awesome. Especially after a 5K. We were in the Boston area and decided to look at some prospective furniture for our new house. I could make a day of Ikea. (Though the novelty will wear off once we are close to one? Is that true?) //
// We've been heading to some must see before we go places the last couple weeks. One such place was Vermont Pretzel Company. They put my turkey sandwich on a homemade soft pretzel. Dude. Duuuuude. // I'm back in the lab. Because I'm a
sucker nice girl. I'm training the new lab guy to culture cells using the protocol I created... out of the goodness of my heart. Though I'd really rather get paid. But alas. I keep telling myself I'll have a stellar recommendation whenever I need it and the satisfaction of knowing my legacy will live on. Or something like that. // Thai coconut soup makes me very happy. A bonus of living in a big city will be my access to the necessary ingredients. I have several recipes waiting for the day I can find galangal and kefir lime leaves. //
// I've taken to wearing my Color Me Rad plastic Wayfarers everyday. And drinking seltzer out of vintage style bottles. On a related note: Mario accidentally sat on my Ray-Ban aviators and flattened them. We went to an optical shop and had them bent back into their 3D form but they don't fit quite right anymore. You know? Anyone have this happen and is there any hope? // Oh, this furry boy. He's so sweet. But he's also a basket case. We've been working madly with a trainer at the 11th hour so we can best acclimate him back to city life. She's a fellow CrossFitter and a dog whisperer. She's opened our eyes to so much and I'm less anxious about subjecting him to this big life change. (Also, he devoured this cone in two seconds flat and had one heck of a brain freeze.) // It's officially flip flop weather. Make it so. // A quiet solo breakfast sitting at the counter at a local diner. One of life's still, happy moments. //
// Packing is officially underway. We sold all the furniture and possessions we aren't taking or intend to replace, and all the nonessential stuff is getting slowly packed away so we aren't overwhelmed in the week leading up The Move. // One perk of simplifying/packing is finding little things to add to our collections. Case in point: getting rid of old games increased the quality of our dice collection significantly. // The box wars have begun. Who knew the kid and the cat would spend their days vying for a spot in a wardrobe box? Kiddo packs flashlights, books, a pillow, and snacks and closes himself in. The moment he steps out, Vista takes over and a box battle ensues. These are the days of our lives. //
// We have a no gift policy when it comes to greeting card holidays, instead favoring family time. On Father's Day we went out to breakfast at a lovely local restaurant. I scored an awesome antique glass baby bottle for my window collection and the rest of the day was spent lounging around the house and packing on what turned out to be a sunny, lovely day. //
Phew. We're all caught up. And now I can practice blogging in non-snippet form.