I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. A scary prospect if there ever was one. This blog, especially, has had the gears turning a bit. I've read some great posts lately, written by great bloggers, addressing writer's block and the recent shift in the blogging atmosphere. All this thinking has me thinking: Where do you take a blog when life no longer resembles what it did when you first put fingers to keyboard and began sharing your thoughts with the world?
(Some great perspectives on this issue can be read at
Story of My Life, Rustic Living, and Wonder Forest.)
Story of My Life, Rustic Living, and Wonder Forest.)
Though I'm still a blogging rookie, for sure, I've evolved a lot over the past 18 months. This platform has been a tremendous learning experience. It has been cause to evaluate how I perceive myself through the screen, and in life in general. After a year, I dropped GFC and never looked back. And while my pageviews have steadily risen, my "official" followers go down by drips and drabs. I'd be lying if I said seeing that number drop didn't effect me, even if it is a fleeting moment of "oh, bummer". I simply don't have time to participate in link ups the way I used to. And while I continue to treasure the time spent reading my blog feed, I'm more voyeur than participant.
I started this blog the summer before my senior year of college. I needed a creative outlet... a break from studying and my role as a mom and wife. Sometimes I simply wanted to talk about my favorite mascara. Other times I needed to delve deeper... like tackling the issue of finding fulfillment outside of motherhood (and admitting to the world that I needed it). I've participated in giveaways, paid to advertise on other blogs, and linked up like a fiend just to get noticed. Somewhere along the way I realized none of that matters. In theory, anyway.
The last couple months have been my spottiest as a blogger. Just this last February, despite being in the throes of a crazy semester, I blogged every single day. Fairly effortlessly, might I add. But I don't have it in me to do so right now. With just 8 days left until my one final class is finished, and my undergrad career officially comes to a close, I've got little to say. At least nothing I haven't said before. I'm not sure what next year brings... but big changes are in the wings. I want this blog to be a part of it. I want to keep writing for pleasure... because I've found a voice I don't want to lose. But if I'm honest, I'd like to know people are out there reading and relating. I don't intend to go back to advertising or giveaways or link ups. At least not the way I used to. I don't want to follow blogs I don't read merely because I might attract more followers... to do so is decidedly disingenuous, in my opinion. So where does one go when they lack the capacity to play the blogging game? I know the formula for having a successful blog, at least on paper. (I've always felt there was more to it.) Is there another way? How can one reach people more organically? I don't know. I've never aspired to be The Pioneer Woman. Though I greatly admire those who can turn a blog into a livelihood, I have other goals. But I'd love to connect with the blogging world on a deeper level.
This blog isn't going anywhere. But I don't want to stare at the screen feeling pressured into writing despite a loss for words. I also don't want to go a week without writing a post. Another reevaluation is in order, I suppose. You see, I'm not a fashion blogger. I can't sew or style my hair in lovely, creative ways. I'm still a novice in the photography realm. My body is a work in progress. I'm not religious and I don't homeschool my kiddo. I don't have a singular focus... a niche. Not unlike high school, I'm a bit of an outsider. This corner of the world is a hodge podge of thoughts and opinions and, well, whatever strikes my fancy. My blog design isn't sleek or professional and I didn't major in English. In the words of Gwen Stefani, I'm just a girl in the world. I fight with my husband, I fight for personal fulfillment, I fight to be fit, I fight to be the best mom I can be, and I fight for my dream career and the future I can picture so clearly. I seek out better, always. Though the interim is good, too. It's just not exciting or stylish. But it's real. You can count on that.
I look at beautiful blogs with thousands of followers and wish I had their talent. Their pizzazz. But that's not my reality and this blogging thing doesn't come so naturally for me. My kiddo is smart and sweet and amazing, but he isn't dressed perfectly. I don't receive freebies in the mail. Part of me yearns for that. The logical part of me realizes I can't sustain daily posts and sponsors during grad school and while building the foundations of my career. Is there a happy medium? Is there a way to pursue both while maintaining the necessary balance?
Again, I don't know.
I'm not sure how to wrap this up, honestly. I have asked more questions than I have answered, and I'm not sure I am any closer to finding a resolution to my current blogging block. But I've put it out there. My thoughts on the matter. My intentions. My concerns. To assume I am the only one who's felt this way would be silly. Blogging is a lot of things; a funny mental game being one of them.