Saturday, February 9, 2013

Preparing for the apocalypse.


 Nemo has bid us adieu. I will admit that I doubted his conviction, but he proved me wrong. He huffed and he puffed and he showed us what a proper Nor'easter looks like.  Is it weird that I have a hankering to reread Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea? Is it also weird that I am just now realizing I never once thought of a wee clown fish in search of his father throughout this whole ordeal?

It's been nice knowing you, Nemo. You let me sleep in two days in a row and allowed us a day spent eating dip and watching movies. You have also provided some very interesting insights regarding disaster preparedness. 

As the Muppets would say, I had a little "Me Party" at the grocery store Thursday night. Not to stock up on blizzard essentials like my fellow shoppers, oh no, but to re-familiarize myself with the whole feeding my family concept. Let's just say it had been a while.

Who knew I was on an educational journey? In the face of heavy snowfall, there is apparently a preparation protocol. At least according to those zany New England natives. I went in with a concrete list containing only a handful of items. An hour later, I left a wiser woman.

In the face of disaster, buy sugar. Lots and lots of generic sugar. Also, buy your weight in generic tuna and boxed macaroni and cheese. I don't know about you, but if I am going down in a wintry apocalypse, I want my last meal to be the real Kraft mac and cheese and my canned spaghetti to be made by an actual chef. That Boyardee knows what he's doing. The Ramen, well, I can't argue with that logic.
Buy meat like all the world's livestock is being hauled back to the mother ship. Ground beef? Oh, yes. Chicken breast? Only the non-organic antibiotic-fed stuff. Buy it all. If it came from an animal, it was sold out. With the exception of the organic chicken 'chunks'.
I clearly didn't get the memo. I am also not a very fast learner. In the face natural disaster, I bought whipped topping (ambrosia salad, duh), pickles (the good refrigerator kind), coffee (decaf, of course), movies, and lots of alcohol. Everyone knows organic beer is healthy and hard cider counts as a serving of fruit.

I hope you have been as enlightened as I was. I'll miss you, Nemo.





6 comments:

  1. Too funny because it's too accurate!

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  2. Loving that granny smith Woodchuck in your cart!!! And yes, New Englanders are NUTS, it makes no sense what most of us buy before storms haha. Hope you're enjoying all the snow!

    Meg @ myborrowedheaven.blogspot.com

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  3. Holy cow! That's crazy! Enjoy the snow.

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  4. hahahhaha! I was amazed to see what people had in their carts on Thursday afternoon {yes, the panic around Boston started around then}. I saw one guy with 4 bags of cheese puffs and liters of coke. Gross!

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  5. Love your blog!!
    I am a new follower from the hop.
    Mendy
    http://1crazydaisy3pokeyjoes.blogspot.com/

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  6. New follower from GFC...Living in Southern California we don't see snow much. And while I don't want that much, every now and then it'd be fun. Stay safe.

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