Friday, September 7, 2012

Ease Up Already

Photo: businessinsider.com
I am on the verge of becoming completely unhinged.  

Here's why:
  • I just wrapped up week two of the fall semester and I am already completely overwhelmed. My senior research project may actually be the death of me. Check back in December. 
  • My son started middle school this week. We are adjusting to a new environment, the realization of how old I am, and a 25+ minute commute.
  • I bombed my first quiz of the semester this morning.
  • The New Hampshire DOT has decided that the first week of school is an excellent time to repave my entire commute. I think they have conspired to torture me. No matter how early I leave the house, I spend the drive stressed about being late. And annoyed that not one of the fifty workers standing around has any idea what is going on or how to direct traffic.
  • Tonight is the very first meet-and-greet at kiddo's new school. It's a charter school, so most of the families are pretty close knit and their kids have been going there from the beginning. We don't even live in the same town, so we are outsiders by every definition of the word.
  • In an attempt to impress said charter school community, I slaved all day making vegan, peanut-free cupcakes. Nothing seemed to go right and my baking OCD reared its ugly head.
  • Earlier in the week I steeled my resolve and decided to avoid all white things (sugar, salt, flour) in order to give my body a chance to dump some of the water it has been retaining since summer vacation number one. I failed miserably. Unless I don't count the chips, spaghetti and froyo I've consumed since then. Now my body is even more puffy and the button on my pants is threatening to go on strike.

The bottom line: I feel like I am doing a lot of things, but none of them well. 

Here's what I'm going to do about it:

Just breathe...
  • Ease up on myself and move on. 
  • Either swallow the lump of shame and self-doubt in my throat or let it rise to freedom. But stop wallowing in it. 
  • Put a smile on my face, step out of my comfort zone, and meet new people at the gathering tonight. If they don't like my cupcakes, the world will NOT end. And if it does, no one will be thinking about the mediocre cupcakes at last night's bbq.
  • Drink two Nalgene bottles of water between now and when I go to bed tonight.
  • Get up and take a looong walk with my furry friend in the morning. Even though I won't want to.
  • Ignore my homework until Sunday. I do not have that much and nothing else is due before Monday.
  • Remember that there are a lot of people who have it much worse.

In the spirit of easing up a bit, I'm going to take a moment to consider the finer things in life:

Stopping to smell the roses
Drinking a deliciously hot brew on my deck while experiencing what nature has to offer. We probably won't live in the woods forever and I should enjoy it more.
The sound of the ocean and the feel of sand between my toes

And to remember that, although things are hard and life is a bummer sometimes, I'm doing it all so that someday this will be the view from my window:


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